Just Cause 3 - Just 'cause you can

Fantasy terrorism featuring Spiderman in denim

Okay, I never saw Just Cause 1 or 2, so perhaps I'm missing some crucial part of the back story that explains the bizarreties of this game.

But I suppose I should start with what I like about it. It's not bad to watch. High quality graphics, beautiful scenery and plenty to look at. There's relatively frequent action and many opportunities to cheer or laugh at the gameplay, depending on your interpretation.

I admit I did quickly get hooked on watching the progress of this game. It's such a vast and confusing game-scape that many questions are raised about what to do, how to do it, where to go etc and so I started looking up walk-throughs and maps of collectables.
Unfortunately it's really difficult to keep track of where the character is in the game, since the world is enormous and there's no map inset in the main screen, no compass direction and no other aids to orientation. I could look at any number of online maps and still not be able to provide much guidance without the player frequently checking their own full screen map. Fair enough, games aren't generally designed with backseat drivers in mind. But it's no fun to just watch a game if you can't have some hand in it, so I lost interest after a short time and it became relegated to the background noise of my living room.

The game is tolerable in the background as long as you can stomach the violence. This game is, as most are these days, chock full of mindless, IQ depleting, eye-averting violence. There is an infinite number of bad guys to shoot, blow up, run over and kill in other gruesomely entertaining ways. An oddly tolerant plethora of innocent bystanders are also on the receiving end depending on how homicidal the player wielding the controller is feeling today.

The main character, Rico - imagine an unwashed Gerard Butler in tight denim - is low on personality. Now and then he mutters wry one-liners, but generally he's a man of few words or opinions. From my observer's position he was a rather unprincipled tough guy with big guns and superhero gadgets who doesn't give a toss. What's odd is that although Rico wanders erratically around hijacking cars, destroying towns and running over nuns, strangely the locals persist in worshiping him as they mistake decimation for liberation.

He can do some cool things, I admit. He comes with a grappling hook that would Spiderman envious. He also keeps a magic parachute and wing suit tucked up somewhere in those tight jeans which pop in and out as needed. He seems to be impervious to injury and although he can die (for example if shot by a tank at close rank whilst being sliced by the rotor blades of an exploding helicopter) he shakes off near-death experiences in a matter of seconds. I can only assume that the myriad of actions he can perform are to blame for the wealth of hilarious accidents he has at the mercy of the player's clumsy fingertips.
(Whee!)

Aside from that, As an observer of this game I also felt compelled to constant ponder Why? Why Rico here? Who is Rico? Certainly not a man of good moral standing. He ain't no William Wallace or Han Solo. Obviously because he's the toughest, most naturally bullet-proof gadget-man around, but why him? He's like Jason Bourne if he'd been drawn to the dark side of the force. But surely there is a reason he wants to fight for the freedom of these islanders? Is there a substantial pay packet? Is it personal? Does he want revenge on General Bad Guy? I find it hard to believe that anyone ever loved Rico for more than five seconds before he accidentally killed them and stole their car. Even though some of his history comes out in the latter stages of the game, it still doesn't really make anything make sense.
Also, what's so bad about General Bad Guy? Sure he's a jerk. The cut scenes show him acting like a cocky despot, but the country he rules appears to be lovely. It has neat and well-maintained towns, solid infrastructure, all kinds of industry, and happy middle-class free-speaking citizens. It's a clean paradise and even has tourists. There's not a spec of oppression in sight, aside from some kind gibberish propaganda burbling out of the odd loud-speaker. The General does nasty things to his country as a strategy for fighting Rico, but everything looked like it was fine up until Rico arrived on the scene.

(Bad guy or misunderstood opera singer?)

Alright alright, I realise that I'm missing the point - he's a bad guy because they say he is. It's probably all explained in those dictator tapes, that no one listens to. But it's just one of those things you notice when you watch a game that looks as good as movie and foolishly expect it to make as much sense as a movie. Still I can't help wondering if this is what wanna-be freedom-fighters imagine their life will be like once they join up with the rebels (aka terrorists, depending on whose side you're on).
In summary, it's not bad game watching. There's no irritating noises (unless constant shooting and explosions bother you). There were no ludicrously over-sexualised females. As long as the person playing the game doesn't have difficulty distinguishing fantasy from reality and isn't toting real guns then I'd say this game might make a good birthday present for your boyfriend/husband/flatmate, if you expect to be in the position of humble spectator / backseat player. Of course, I still didn't have the slightest compulsion to actually play it myself and I probably would have missed the point entirely if I did.

Enslaved... Monkey Magic in Sci Fi

This game has become my new favourite to watch, but unfortunately it is not charming my boyfriend as much in playing it.
It's got nice graphics and cartoonish action. Unlike the handsome and dashing main character from Drake's Fortune, the action hero of Enslaved is a hulk-like cranky-pants called Monkey whose sprightly nimble antics defy the limits of physics implied by his size. His companion and enslaver is a cute skin-flauting chick who calmly orders Monkey around.
I like this game perhaps because it has a nice story line and the settings and scenery are pleasant to watch. It's designed to be easy so the paths and puzzles are not mentally strenuous but necessitate Monkey bounding around the place like a, well, monkey.
The game sports the necessary amount of action and fighting, mostly at close quarters, but also with opportunities to shoot a few big guns.
The Monkey Magic analogy also gives the game charm. People with fond memories of the Japanese TV show will quickly realise that the game is based closely on the original Chinese legend of Monkey and his unlikely band of misfits. The enslaved Monkey even fights with a staff and has a magic 'cloud'. But the analogy quickly loses momentum. Trip doesn't exactly invoke the image of a young, pure and exasperated monk and the original Monkey was arrogant, mischievous and crafty whereas the Enslaved version of Monkey is a brooding, reluctant loner. Both Monkey's do go through the difficult transition from enjoying personal freedom to accepting and preferring the responsibilities and rewards of friendship. But initially they act like unwilling victims of a relationship with a person on a determined and frivilous mission. The Monkey analogy is furthered by the addition to the team of Pigsy, an obese cyber-enhanced, bomb toting, sleaze. Pigsy hits on Trip, which is pretty creepy, since Trip's initial introduction to him is as a friend of her fathers that she hasn't seen since she was kid. But I think this angle of the story is simply to give a little substance to the suggestion of a growing bond between Trip and Monkey. Thankfully the relationship doesn't materialise because that would be a bit like a romance between a gorilla and a monkey.

Although I really enjoy watching this game, my boyfriend isn't often in the mood to play it. This is mostly because when Monkey occasionally dies he has had to replay a fairly long section. Because Monkey has to collect 'orbs' from all over the damn place the game is lengthened by the amount of time spent exploring every walkable inch of the game world.
I just like following the action and keeping one step ahead with an online walkthrough to make sure that all the masks are found and that I can be all-knowing when my boyfriend gets stuck and isn't sure which way to go.
The game has a surprising ending. Collecting the last mask was a disappointment because nothing happened, but the ending revealed the point of including them in the game.

My biggest objection to this game, as a spectator of course, is that there just isn't enough tricky mystery. Aside from the masks there isn't much that a player would miss on their first run through the game. It's extremely straightforward and easy, as and such I found I couldn't participate with a walkthrough as much as I would have liked.
But, hey, I guess they didn't design the game with girlfriend spectators in mind.

Borderlands - will it ever end???!!

An addendum to my previous post.

Borderlands is really long game and in contrast to my negative spectator preferences, the boyfriend has admitted becoming addicted. Annoying for me, forced to endure it's childish graphics hog the big screen tv and it's irritating sound effects invade my home, but lucky for him, because this game goes seemingly forever. Apparently it has a plot of some kind and players progress through levels that to me just seem more and more mundanely violent (is there such a thing as mundane violence?).

Anyway - I can't wait until it's out of my lounge room and has been exchanged at the game shop for something more pedestrian friendly.

Borderlands

Rating 5/10

Shooting noisy creatures in a desert.

This game has not captured my interest and I have noticed that even the player, my boyfriend, becomes easily bored with it.

I don't think it's a boring game overall. There's just not much to enjoy about it when you're not actually playing it. It's desolate and apocalyptic backdrop doesn't make it very pretty to look at to start with. The bad guys are all weird variations of zombies or goblins that flop about pathetically on the screen and make horrible and pointless noises. All the human characters are masked or deformed, except for the occasional curvaceous and scantily clad female.

The game seems to be all about wandering about in the desert or bunkers killing these monsters. The graphics I think are meant to be a bit cheesy so they're kind of chunky and unclever. Most of the time all there is to see is angular rocks and ground.

Not having actually played this game I can't of course comment on how fun it is to play. I'm sure it has plenty of fans. But I hate it being played in my presences even in the background simply because of the awful sounds it makes. Aside from the squawking of baddies in their death throes, it has repetitive and extremely irritating soundbites of dialogue that I really get sick of hearing out of context. Reoccuring characters have only one line which they stubbornly recite over and over.

Aside from that my experience of this game is limited to my boyfriend's occasional complaints about glitches and ambiguous gameplay, but he persists, so maybe it's not so bad when the action distracts you from the audio.

My advice: don't buy this for his birthday unless you plan on not being present.

Uncharted: Drake's Fortune

Rating: 7/10
Movie-style adventure interspersed with plenty of gun-toting action with stunning scenery.

This game is great for the lethargic spectator because it kind of plays like a movie as well as a game, which makes it surprisingly watchable.

What I like about Drake's Fortune is that it has regular cut scenes like movie segments that develop the plot and characters and tie in extremely well to the actual gameplay. This makes it kind of like a movie broken up with sporadic fighting, puzzle solving and exploring, all steered by whomever is actually playing the game.

The game's characters are exactly what you would expect in standard adventure movie about a treasure hunter, his best mate, a daring girl, and some quintessentially bad bad-guys with big guns and an endless army of minions and ammunition supply.

The main character, Nate, is not only charming and good-humoured, but he is so spectactularly fit and athletic that you might find yourself opening a dialogue about the gameplayer's own physical state of health. The girl has an obligatory amount of cuteness and adventurousness, but is refreshing decently clothed and of normal body proportions. She frequently provides Nate with opportunities to flex his muscles by being herself unable to achieve the incredible human feats he must do to progress through the adventure.

The game graphics are very well done, the settings and scenes fascinating, and the animation fairly realistic. Refreshingly, the game is not plagued with constant mindless action, although there is enough gratuitous gun violence to keep the player feeling macho. Also this game doesn't make me feel too dizzy.

I enjoy watching this game so much that I won't let my boyfriend play without me present. He has also come to rely on me because while he plays I track his progress with the help of some online walkthroughs. This means he can collect all of the optional 'treasures' as he goes with my direction or hints. I can warn him about the impending dangers, help his figure out his way out of tight spots, and suggest alternative battle strategies that only one unemcumbered by the limitations of the game's controls can think of (i.e impossible). But this all gives me a smug aspect of control over the game from my comfortable position on the couch, whilst leaving me free to split my attention with other activities such as browsing the news, updating my online social status or reading a book. But if you're following on a walkthrough then it won't be possible to do all that at once.

Of course, as well as being a bit of a backseat player I love laughing at the character's occasional silly moves and even enjoying the amusing unrealistic yet inevitable aspects of the game (such the improbable the sheer volume of bad guys who manage to find their way to the most secret of places, not to mention the amusing ways in which they sometimes die, or refuse to die).

Of course there are long sections of the game where my interest is easily lost, such as lengthly gun battles, and repetitive play of those tricky bits where the character just keeps getting killed. It's not thrilling enough to have me glued to the screen, but it's not such as an affront to the use of a television as many games out there (yet to be described in this blog). And sometimes when there is lots of twisting and turning, it does give me a headache and make me feel queasy.

So this game won't bore the willing or unwilling observer too much, and even provides opportunities for some backseat driving. It's not the same as sitting down to watch Indiana Jones, but it gives enough bursts of interesting entertainment to not make me dread the inevitable moment when my boyfriend reaches forward to grab the controller.